Let it go....

I am sure this list will get longer, but it is the current list of things that have gone missing since Jack has learned how to walk.

1. The remote. 

This is the most recent item to disappear, and we have searched high and low for it. It is the one for the TV so when we turn on netflix we have to get our lazy asses up and change the input on the TV. Two thumbs up kiddo. 

2. His new Mally bib.

This item I am the most annoyed about. The dang thing cost $45 bucks and I expected it to last him a very long time. I got the toddler size because I loved the infant one so much I used it until he grew out of it and now I can't find it. He literally used it twice and it didn't leave the house, I'm not even joking. (UPDATE: apparently it did leave the house, I found it in our cabin in the toy drawer. YAY! No longer annoyed)

3. My credit card.

I am not entirely sure I can blame this on Jack. I am pretty sure it ended up in the incinerator at work. The benefits of having my card number memorized means it hasn't hampered my online shopping. Jack currently loves to empty wallets and slide cards between the couch cushions while maintaining serious eye contact.

4. The Key.

This item technically isn't missing. It just shows up in random places from time to time. It's a regular gold coloured deadbolt key that neither of us have any recollection of what it unlocks. Cord leaves it by his bedside table and Jack will put it in his pocket and re-locate it throughout the day. Today I found it in the utensil drawer. The other day it was found in the girls change room at our gym.

5. The hats.
This is where Jack is really winning the battle. He pulls them off of his head and tosses them from the pram. So far we have lost two toques (maybe even three), two ball caps, and one flat cap. We really should be enforcing a no hat in the pram rule but it keeps things interesting.

6. The sippy cup.
I prefer jack to drink out of stainless steel water bottles, so I bought him one online. I figured if he threw it from the pram I would hear it hit the sidewalk. Nope, the thing has disappeared into thin air. So I bought another one and it's less than a week old and he pitched it from his high chair in a water-induced rage and broke the lid. Frig.

This work/life balance thing

The amount of blogging that I have done in the last couple of months is probably a good indicator of the amount of leisure time I now have and my ability to manage it. I have been back to work since the end of June and it's still uncomfortable. And I only work part time! I have no clue how women go back to work full time post mat leave. Even part time I find it difficult. It's not that the work itself got harder in the year that I was gone, it's that life revolves in a completely different direction now. 

I'm a pragmatist. I expected the transition to be simply feel annoying, but those feelings quickly turned into overwhelming waves of inadequacy. I was shoved into the reality that I could't do it all and that the twelve months of autonomy with this incredibly cute pooping machine had come to an end. 

You basically have to let go of something: working out, socializing, solo time, getting your hair cut, creative down time, hobbies, sneaky foot massages, etc. Something on the plate no longer fits. The kid comes first and then one (or more) things have to go to make room for the beloved task of earning a living. It is so simple and obvious that I feel dumb talking about it and it feels like a first world problem of culture shock. 

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for the full year I had on maternity leave, it just felt like it all went by so incredibly fast. Yes, I know how terribly cliche that sounds but until you're in it you don't realize how true it is. You blink and it's over and you're putting your scrubs on again and shaking your head like, "FUCK. Okay. This again." 

I thought I would just go to work and it wouldn't be a big deal but I wasn't prepared for how overwhelming this new set of priorities is. And the guilt. 

Even as I write this I feel guilty. I should be taking Jack to the pool. I should be unloading the dishwasher. I should be hanging up my diapers. I should be picking up the bits of breakfast off the floor. I could/should be doing a million other things.  

This balance thing isn't easy. I totally get it now why moms stop taking care of themselves. I get it why my parent's social lives were family gatherings. You sacrifice some things, you tweak some things (IE my gym is now Jack's "play group"), you learn to ask for help, but it isn't easy and you just eventually learn to live on less sleep. 

A Guide For Family Photos - Guest Post by Caitlin Brooke Photography

Let’s talk about professional family photos. Cue eye rolls. Insert huffing, puffing from your kids and disapproving groans from Dad. I understand, I really do. As a portrait photographer for almost seven years, I have seen the entire gamut of emotions from joyful exuberance to utter disdain when it comes to posing for family photos. Even as I gear up for my own family’s photos this weekend, I feel a sense of anxiety about outfits, eating too many tacos last night, and what mood my child (and my husband) will be in that day. Taking a step back from all the worry, I am reminded of why I am a family photographer.

My love of family photography stems almost entirely from years of perusing my own family photographs. I never had the chance to meet my grandparents. Not one of them. How do I know that my sister has my grandmother’s cheekbones, that my brother is the spitting image of my grandfather, or that my 10 month old son looks so much like my dad when he was a baby? Photographs. Photos that have now been passed on to me, and that I count as some of my most cherished possessions. This is why family photographs are important – they are our link to the past, the present and the future, to who we are. A fleeting moment in our familial history that passes in the blink of an eye (or the snap of a shutter), immortalized. 

Further to providing invaluable family treasures that last generations, family photos have also been shown to improve your child’s self esteem. You can read about a study and what this psychologist has to say about it here: http://designaglow.com/blogs/design-aglow/17493452-how-family-portraits-boost-your-child-s-self-esteem

So let’s get on with it! If you’re thinking about hiring a professional photographer for family portraits, it is my hope that somehow I can help make this process less daunting for you and your family. I have assembled a quick guide that I hope you find helpful when planning your next session.

1. Know Your Vision. What do family photos look like to you: are they an indoor studio session?  Are they in a grassy field at sunset, or in your home, capturing your family’s life as it happens? There are many different styles of family photography and having a clear idea about what you envision for your portraits will help refine your search for the right photographer. Other things that you will want to consider:

• Decide what you want as a final product - a photo for your family’s annual Christmas card? A large canvas for your living room wall? Tabletop framed photos or an album for Grandma and Grandpa? Knowing what you intend to do with the photos can be helpful when deciding on the style of photography. Additionally, be aware that every photographer’s product delivery system is individual. Be sure to get a clear idea of what they offer, what it costs, and how it is delivered.

2. Find Your Photographer. It’s easy enough to Google “Vancouver Family Photography” and come up with a gorgeous spread of images showcasing the range of talent available in this city. While you’re sure to find photos you like, it’s also important that you find a photographer you and your family will feel comfortable with. Chances are you know a photographer or two. If their work appeals to you, ask them if they do family sessions and if not, ask who they recommend. Ask your friends whom they recommend. Check out portfolios. Send potential photographers an email to inquire about what they offer and to get a sense of who the photographer is.  

3. Prepare For Your Session. I often find this is the hardest part for not only myself, but also for many of my clients. It is hard to know what to wear, what looks good, what the weather will be, etc. etc. Add to that, likely you (mom) are in charge of coordinating the entire family’s wardrobe, ensuring everyone is washed, dressed, not on the brink of starvation, on time and somewhat behaved – its a big undertaking! To help streamline the process:

• For outfits, pick a colour scheme and stick with it. Shades of green, or complimentary colours of blue and yellow, for example. Whichever you choose, keep it simple and streamlined. Dark solid colours (navy, grey, black) can be slimming and flattering.
• Make sure the clothes fit properly. Too tight or too loose can both be problematic. If you’re unsure, throw on what you’re thinking of wearing and have a friend or spouse snap a few shots with a camera phone from different angles just to see what it looks like in a photo. 
• Wear what makes you feel good – it will show. Family photos do not need to equal tailored dresses and buttoned up shirts with ties that can often make one feel stiff and uncomfortable. A nice pair of dark denim jeans for the whole family with coordinated tops, a summer dress for girls and Mom, or khaki shorts and simple fitted t-shirts. All are ideas that can be easily accessorized to jazz up your look without being too complicated. 
• A day or two before your session lay everything out on your bed or on the floor. Look at it – does it coordinate? Do a quick once over of the clothes – are they clean and in good repair? Wash and iron items that need it and do your best to remove excess lint and pilling.  When accessorizing, less is more. Don’t forget about shoes! Neutral coloured shoes are almost always the best choice (black, brown, nude) – this applies to children as well. 
• Have any haircuts/dying done a week or more before your session.
• If you have the time and budget, opt for professional makeup application (for those who wear makeup). It takes the pressure off you and will help you look your best, confident self.

4. Have Fun. You’ve found a great photographer and you’ve done your preparation homework. Let the session unfold and go with the flow. Since you’re all looking so fine, perhaps plan an après-shoot lunch, dinner or ice cream to celebrate and relax after the shoot. After all, you’ve just created memories that will last a lifetime.

____________________________

You can find Caitlin's phenomenal work on her website www.caitlinbrooke.com, and on Instagram @caitlinbrookephotography

Announcement - The Poop Files!

Exciting announcement! I will be doing a series of guest posts from my amazing friends, featuring their worst/best baby poop story! It's gonna be good!

Confessions...

It only took me eleven months but I finally figured out how to get out of the house before the first nap of the day. 

Not putting on the housecoat. 

Early sunrise, summer weather, and slightly later sleep-ins also help but really its about just getting my ass in gear and getting it out the door. I don't necessarily have to shower and do my hair and makeup, I just need to get him to the park. 

Battling the Pantovirus and Keeping Your Medicine Cabinet Stocked

As a nurse I have a tendency to overstock our medicine cabinet (athletes foot spray, topical numbing agents, Chinese muscle ointments - you name it, I've got it) but even I was caught off guard this weekend when Jack got sick with a violent flu bug.

Jack has previously had little colds. There is always a snotty nosed little cousin with the newest strain of the mutated virus who wants to give "hugs"- aka- attempted strangulation. And he had his share of refluxy projectile barfs as a newborn, but nothing compared to this flu. So much barf! I didn't know that so much liquid could come out of a tiny body. It was everywhere, all over me, the floor, the couch. And then I made the rookie mistake of thinking it was over and bringing him into bed with me. The poor little guy vomited until he dry heaved and his little eyes watered.

I didn't realize how heartbreaking it would be to see him sick. I felt like someone with giant hands was squeezing my ribs in and my heart was working its way into my throat. I have taken him for his shots so I know what it's like to see him in pain but that's different because you are expecting it and you know it's only going to last a couple of seconds. AND you know that immunizations are a lot less painful and life threatening than things like measles and polio.

And then there was the diarrhea! If it smelled any worse I would have sworn he had c.diff!

So 4am rolls around and he won't keep the oral acetaminophen down and his fever is 40 degrees and the cool shower only does so much and he is basically inconsolable. So I busted my ass up to the drug store and said a little prayer of thanks to baby Jesus for living in a city that has a 24hr drug store.  I grabbed some acetaminophen suppositories and some pedialyte.

Again, as a nurse I have put my fair share of suppositories up people's butt's but the baby sups are so tiny they are adorable. And the key factor is that they are very very effective; which I am thankful for. Thankful for modern medicine, a super supportive husband, three day weekends, in-suite laundry, and the resilience of infants.



FYI: Good infant meds to always keep on hand:

• Oral Acetaminophen
• Oral Ibuprofen
• Acetaminophen Suppositories
• Gripe Water
• Pedialyte (Use the leftovers for your hangover!)

Traveling With Infants

Don't do it. 

No seriously, sit down and have a little chat with yourself. 

Vacations will never be the same avec les infants. It's simply the truth. It's not that they won't be as good, they will just be different. I'm sure it gets better as they get older, but with babies you're not doing anything cool any time soon. No more waking up and drinking last night's melted margarita from the nightstand. No more falling asleep topless in your cabana. No more spelunking in Belize. No more staying in a sketchy hostel in Hanoi and sharing a room with a stanky dread-head named Rain. No more Vegas. And no more footloose and fancy free. That's just how it is, it takes a lot more planning and a bit more luggage.

Travel Honeymoon Period
Before six months is good time to travel, before three months is even better. They sleep all the time, they sleep on you, they're small, and you don't need a lot of gear. 

Transit Time
If possible keep it a direct flight. The 38 hours of travel time to get to Bora Bora will end in you wanting to murder your spouse on the glass bottom floor of your over-the-water bungalow. Breaking up the travel is a good way to avoid burnout. Stay overnight in a stopover city, have a nice meal at a restaurant in the city instead of shite airport food, and get a solid night's sleep. Anytime more than one solid nap is missed, meltdowns should be expected. And avoid really shitty airports like LAX where you might find yourself stuck in a terminal that's only food options are tuna fish sandwiches and coffee from a vending machine. 

Upgrade
If your flight is 10+ hours I highly recommend splurging on the premium economy seats if possible. At the very least try to book really far in advance so that you can get the bassinet seats. Some airlines don't have bassinets for certain flights so be wary. 

Equalization
Babies can't exactly pop their ears or chew on a piece of gum to equalize. So it's best to nurse or give them a bottle on the ascent and descent. The timing can be a bit tricky with boarding and taxiing so if babe is already fed or sleeping give them a soother. If they won't take a soother, shove your finger in their mouth to suck on.

Giving No Fucks
#1. There are always gonna be crying babies on a flight, maybe it's just your turn. (I am guessing the flights to Vegas are a bit quieter). 
#2. You are never going to see those people ever again.
#3. Drugs.

Rent 
Some cities have baby gear rental companies, even items like bouncy chairs and highchairs that they will deliver to your hotel. And some car rental companies have really inexpensive car seat options, saving you from schlepping your car seat through the airport and waiting for it at the oversized luggage claim. Also FYI: if you stay at a hotel and request a crib they will usually just send a pack-and-play to your room unless you specifically request a crib. 

Travel Gear/ Pack Light
If you do have to bring a car seat, don't bring your good one. Borrow a travel one from a friend or buy a cheap one off Craigslist. Baggage handlers kick that shit around like Solange in an elevator and it gets all dinged up. Same goes with your stroller, don't lug your favourite giant one to the gate (I learned this the hard way), just use a small umbrella stroller. Some airlines will bag it for you at the gate, most won't. 

Know Your Terrain
Also learned this the hard way. Got to Playa la Ropa in Zihuatanejo and discovered that not only was it too hilly to use a stroller but also the major thoroughfare in front of our house was under construction. If you choose, strollers can be sent in the checked luggage at no cost (and you should have a case for it) but carriers are much easier to travel with in general. If your destination is warm a forward facing carrier is a bit cooler than a rear facing. 

Bring a Babysitter
Travel with another couple with kids so that you can trade off nights out on the town sans babies. Seriously, genius. Also apparently hotels have babysitter services that you can book in advance, also genius!

Lower Your Standards
Just take it easy. Give yourself lots of time at the airport and try not to sweat it. If needed you can always have a drink at the airport bar...

Jack at 6 weeks - a champ for his first flight: YVR > YXC.

4 month old Jack refusing to nap on the train ride from New Haven > NYC...

 ...Resulting in a meltdown in Eataly and an eventual stroller/swaddle nap. 

Christmas trip to Australia at 6 months. He was a perfect fit for the bassinet and thankfully slept most of the 14 hour flight from LAX > MEL.

 Bleary eyed but we survived! 

10.5 months. YVR > PHX. Not the most awesome age to fly, he wanted to stand/crawl around/grab everything within reach. 

Confessions...

When you go to prenatal classes the like to tell you that your nipples will be "sensitive" when you start breastfeeding. I call bullshit. It hurts. It straight up goddammotherfucking hurts. I think that there should be a prenatal program that you sign up for where someone comes to your house twice a day and spends 30 minutes flicking your nips to "desensitize" them!  

My Cloth Diaper Manifesto!

I started cloth diapers when Jack was a couple weeks old. Thankfully I had an extremely helpful mentor, my cousin's wife Jodi, who found a second-hand stash for me, lent me her newborn stash, as well as guided me through the learning process. She even put up with my early morning calls about leaks and laundry! I advise everyone who plans on using CD to have a mentor of sorts. There is an abundance of conflicting information online and so many options, it is best to have someone you trust verses the trial and error of using the google.

As with everything babies, you find out what works for you, this is simply my experience. There are a million ways to diaper your baby - prefolds, covers, all-in-ones, all-in-twos, pocket diapers, hybrids, so be careful what kind of stash you invest in. Try some out, go to a CD party, dabble a bit.

I discovered that I didn't like velcro closures because of the tangled mess it makes in the washer and how worn out it can look. So my stash is fully snap diapers. I only have a couple Tender Tushies from my original stash, the rest I bought off of Craigslist, a Canadian brand called Glow Bug. Seriously CL is a cloth diaper gold mine. Lots of first time parents buy CD thinking that they will use them and never do so they sell them virtually brand new. Another good place to buy second hand ones are the CD buy&sell Facebook groups. A brand that I have just recently tried are Funky Fluff, another Canadian company, which makes a reasonably priced and really nice and trim diaper.


Diapers

I have 35 diapers in my rotation. And really 35 inserts as well. If you want you can double up on inserts at night, but I just prefer to use disposable. The "one-size" can be snapped to their smallest size to be used for newborns but I would wait till bub’s thighs have chunked up to start on cloth. Probably around the 3 month mark or 13-15lb range. You wanna make sure they are nice and snug up in the groin to prevent leaks. There is also the option of purchasing newborn sized cloth diapers (sometimes called size small). The down side is they grow out of them fast, and because newborns poop so frequently you either have to either wash them every day or have a large stash. If you were going to have multiple children use them it might be worth the investment. If you do buy I recommend an all-in-one (AIO) option, verses a pocket diaper. It's just less hassle and the little diapers are a bit of a pain to stuff. 

Detergent

I use Country Save detergent, it’s 8 bucks a box and it lasts 4-6 months. You can get it at Target and London Drugs and it’s the best bang for your buck by far. Works out to 16 cents per load. Other brands that are popular are RockinGreen and Nettie’s, it really just has to be residue free. I do a load every 2-3 days, any longer than that and it gets smelly. No dryer sheets and no fabric softener of any kind. 

Washing

To wash your diapers it is a three step process: 

1. Rinse Cold 

2. Wash Hot (with detergent) 

3. Rinse Cold. 

All on a large load setting. The purpose is to use lots of water to rinse off the pee, wash them at a high temp, and then a final rinse to ensure that the detergent has been rinsed out. Diapers are always hang to dry, preferably somewhere where they will get a bit of sun for some UV rays. If you are exclusively breastfeeding, baby’s poo is water soluble and can go in the wash. Once babe starts solids you will have to use a sprayer or liners (or the shake it off method). 

Diaper Creams.

You can’t use any creams that have Zinc, Petrolium, or Silicone. Basically unless it says cloth diaper safe don’t use it. The type of cream that you use should depend on what’s going on on babe’s bum. 

Redness - Usually just irritation from pee or teething. Coconut oil or Black’s Butt Balm http://www.lagoonbaby.com/Blacks-Butt-Balm_p_368.html 

Excoriation - Use a barrier cream. Grandma El’s was the one I had the most success with and it smells fabulous. http://www.amazon.com/Grandma-Els-Diaper-Prevention-3-75-Ounce/dp/B0042RPDWM If it’s really bad just switch to disposable and use a zinc/silicone combo. 

Yeast - shows up in the groin and can be red skin and/or little red dots. Very common if you're breastfeeding and post labour, especially if you had any Antibiotics in labour. You must switch to disposable and use canesten or nystatin on their skin and if it lingers in the cloth diapers you will have to strip them.

*I use the Black's Butt Balm every day, now that Jack is on solids it helps prevent the turds from sticking to his butt. 

Accessories 

Diaper Pail - I literally just use a bucket and prefer no lid so I can just drop the dirty diaper in one handed (the other hand is usually holding down squirmy Jack). I started out using a pail liner but you just end up washing that as well. Now I just rinse out the bucket. 

Wet Bag - essential for on the go, to toss dirty diapers in. I have a couple, also handy for swim suits post lessons.

Liners - for when baby starts on solids, turds go from liquid to solid and stanky. They are supposed to be flushable but that's debatable, you have to let them soak for a while first and they have become a problem for the city sewer system. Also some brands aren’t septic field safe. I just pick the edges of the liner up and put it turds and all in the garbage. I have only tried the Bummis and GlowBugs and I prefer the GlowBugs.

The Windup
You really have to like the cloth diapers to use them, and I am not maniacal about it; I use disposable at night and when we travel. Full disclosure, there is extra laundry involved and time spent hanging them and stuffing the insert into the pocket to prep them. There is also the slightly bigger bum, occasionally you have to go up a size in pants to fit over the booty. And the maintenance, the diapers do have to be stripped periodically to maintain their integrity and absorbency (I'll post about that some other time).

All in all I am really happy with cloth diapers; the two biggest reasons for me are cost and waste. The average cost of diapering two children in disposables from birth to potty training is over $5000. In contrast I have spent just over $400 on my stash. And the average child in the same span will use 6300 diapers, which is nuts! I figure that if I have brought a human into this world then I should at least try to make an effort to help sustain the planet that they will live on.

Hey Tartine, put it in your pie-hole.

I recently got back into making No-Knead Bread because I was forced to. 

We used to buy our bread down the street at Tartine and don't get me wrong, the bread there is fabulous. It's artisanal, it's crusty, it has a great crumb and I friggen love it's white doughiness. But half the time you show up they don't have bread made. And it's not because they've sold out. I am not shitting you, I've gone there at 7 am, 9 am, 5pm, you name it- any hour of the day and it's a 50/50 crapshoot whether they have bread or not. 

I'm not sure if the owners knew this when they opened a bakery, but someone needs to get their ass out of bed at 4am and start baking some bread! Additional evidence that the place is poorly run is the fact that the service can be horrendous. Sometimes the young women behind the counter are nice but the older staff are brutal. I swear the only reason they are open is because they are the only place in the neighbourhood where you can get coffee. 

After getting bread-blocked I have officially boycotted Tartine and gone back to making No-Knead Bread. And really I am just waiting for the Vancouver House development to be built across the street and a superior bakery to swoop in and run them into the ground. (Fingers crossed that it's Purebread!).

Really I should be thankful, I am thoroughly enjoying this new yeasty calling. 

I make the bread every three days or so and it's so easy it doesn't even make any sense. All you need is a dutch oven, I use a le creuset but any old pyrex with a lid will do. Four ingredients! Flour - Yeast - Salt - Water. 

This is the recipe I use - 

You can read more about it here : Sullivan Street Bakery No Knead Bread

I mix it in the evening, any time between 5 and 8 pm and let it proof overnight. And then the next morning, usually 12-14 ish hours later I fold it over for it's second proof, which is only an hour or two. 

It's a very forgiving recipe and technique and it makes amazing crusty bread, you really have to try it! I love how the smell of it baking fills my whole apartment,  I love the sound of the crust cracking as it cools on the counter, and I love how a warm buttery slice fresh out of the oven melts in your mouth. 

This is it's nice bubbly top after 12 hours or so.

Then you plop it on the counter over some flour/cornmeal.

And you fold it into a nice little package.

And BAMMO!

Look at that beautiful crack!

Breadgasms. That's what those little holes are called. 

Sometimes it doesn't look the prettiest, but who gives a flying fart. 

Confessions...

Sometimes I like to leave Jack's dinner crumbs in his highchair overnight so that they dry out and I can sweep them up easier.

Crap Karma

I have been wanting to write this post for a while.

I'll start with some background on my dad. Billy has an incredibly sensitive gag reflex. Swallowing pills, the sound of a baby pooping, the smell of baby poop, the smell of his own poop, the smell of garbage, the sight of a dirty diaper, watching someone vomit, the smell of vomit, the sound of someone vomiting, someone's nasty fart, his own nasty farts, the garbage bin on a hot summer day, the compost pile, all of these things induce dry heaving in my father. This reaction is 100% psychological. And to this day, even after having four children, he maintains that he has never changed a poopy diaper. My mother also adds that he didn't change any diapers of any kind, pee or poop.

Everyone knows that babies poop in the bath. It's like a right of passage for parenthood. They get all warm and cozy in the water and their little sphincters relax and WHAMMO! They let it rip. Even toddlers do it, traumatizing their older siblings with floating kernels of corn.

So one evening when my parents came to visit at Thanksgiving my mom and I were hanging out in the kitchen making hot pepper jelly. We thought it would be nice if Granddad bathed Jack before bed. Total hilarity ensued when, sure enough, for the first time ever, Jack lets a hot and steamy go in the bathwater.

Laughing, we stumbled into the bathroom to find my father kneeled over next to the tub, unable to even look at the now brown tub water or Jack's content grin. Blindly, one hand remained on Jack's chest, as if to prevent him from drowning in the two inches of sewer water. The fear of abandonment overriding his ingrained fight or flight response. In between retching he was cursing us for our undisguised joy.

After letting him have a breather, we cleaned out the tub, put fresh water in and set my father back at the task of Jack's bath, thinking it was no big deal. And I shit you not, no less than a minute later we rush back to the sound of my father's cries, "He did it again!". This happened a total of THREE times. Talk about Crap Karma. By the third time we didn't believe him, tears streaming down our faces from elation as my father threw up his hands in defeat.

Take that Billy.

Nine Months Out

Yesterday felt like a special milestone, the 22nd was Jack's 9 month birthday. And I guess the 9 month mark brought up lots pregnancy feelings. I loved being pregnant, loved it so much. I think knowing that it was going to be my only experience made me savour all the little moments. I was blessed with an easy pregnancy and even the heartburn, constipation, separated ab muscles, pelvic girdle pain, and limited sex positions didn't thwart my joy. I loved his little kicks, his twists and turns, and his hiccups. And looking back, I love knowing that he spent those 9 months in utero growing and turning me into a mother.

Doodle Grabbing!

Such a boy thing. Every single time the diaper comes off his little fingers zoom down and grab his knob. Feet up, grin on his face, like he has made the discovery of a lifetime. He doesn't even care if it's covered in crap. Sometimes I cringe when he gives it a yank. I swear he pulls it so hard he must think it's one of those cannons that will shoot out prizes like t-shirts and confetti. One day son. One day.

Baby-Lead Weaning

I am really thankful that my friend Liz introduced me to Baby-Lead Weaning. While I was pregnant I watched her hand chunks of banana to her 7 month old, Elliette. I immediately expected Elliette to choke, I had this ingrained assumption that non-pureed food was dangerous for babies. But she just picked up the banana pieces with her little fingers, gummed/chewed them, and swallowed them- no problem at all.

As Jack neared the six month mark I was dreading starting solids. I put it off for as long as possible. He already had six teeth and a definite interest in food but I was hesitant. I knew that I wanted to make him homemade baby food and that part seemed fun and idyllic; but going from the incomparable ease of breastfeeding to the rules and inconvenience of solids seemed incredibly annoying.

So I borrowed the BLW book from Liz and dove right in. There are some things that immediately clicked with me. If they have the dexterity it makes perfect sense to let the kid feed themselves, especially if they are strong-willed! And I like the theory that you are letting them explore the food and experience the different tastes and textures, not just pushing mush into their mouths all the time. Even handing them a pre-filled spoon gives them some aspect of control.

The book doesn't exactly crap rainbows. It's extremely repetitive; because it's essentially a simple theory that they could have summed it up in a much shorter format, they beat it like a dead horse. Also it is unnecessarily militant. Yes, maybe pure BLW works for you, but most parents that I have talked to find themselves a middle ground.

Jack loves gnawing on big pieces of meat, and broccoli florets are his favourite food. We try our best to give him a variety of healthy hand-held foods. The things that he can't grab I puree and put into refillable squeezy packs that he sucks on. For example the other day I blitzed some wilted spinach, steamed peas, and sweet potato with some breastmilk. Another mix that he likes is pureed lentils, kale, peas, and blueberries. And tonight he had some stew whirled with avocado. Although BLW doesn't recommend it, I am not opposed to spoon feeding, Jack likes to reach out and bring the spoon to his mouth. 

Full disclosure. There was a lot of gagging when we started, with both pureed and handheld foods. And even some chuck-ups. I think there was a short phase where he would vomit at every meal, and unfazed, go back to eating whatever he was chewing on. It was a learning process for both of us as we discovered that rough surfaces like bread crusts would scratch his throat and trigger a gag.

In the end I am glad I didn't obsessively follow any set of rules. No mashed avocado for three days, no proteins before vegetables, no "fortified" rice cereal, no organic free-range grass-fed chicken livers. We just feed him a less salty version of what we are having, and I am relieved I didn't let this fun milestone become a stressful chore.

Das Body Yaaa

I knew going into it that having a baby would wreck havoc on my body. No matter what physical exercise I was able to maintain; I knew that bringing a life form into this world would cause damage that would cost thousands of dollars in plastic surgery to repair. I was expecting the stretch marks, the saggy boobs (albeit massive monster tits for a blurry week or two), the rapid hair loss (or as Cord called it- leprosy of the head), the fuzz forehead that follows, and the excess weight postpartum.

What I was not expecting was changes to my skeletal system. Yes, it makes sense that the ribcage has to expand to make room for the organs and baby in the chest cavity. And the pelvis bones have to shift for the tiny human to come out, but in my mind I just imagined that they magically spring back to where they were before. Yeah. No.

After reaching a peak bra size of 40 (underbust), it was only around the 8 month mark post birth that my ribs finally adjusted back to their pre-baby size 36. And it probably took a solid 4 or 5 months for my hips to squeeze back into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Not to mention the fact that during labour I had deep joint pain between contractions as my body had the psychotic urge to pop my hips out of their sockets.

I read lots of pregnancy and birthing books and thought I was prepared for it all but sometimes your body does some weird and whacky things. And really it was another excuse to wear lululemon's for several months.

Fourth Trimester Survival Gear

This is a list of things that I came up with my “Must Haves/Survival Gear”. The things that got us through those superfuntimes first 90 days. And I know that there is lots of info on the internet and everyone has an opinion and it kinda comes down to what you want and how you wanna do things and sometimes you just wanna figure it out on your own. So take it all with a grain of salt. (Except swaddling, you are crazy if you don't swaddle).

1. Breastfeeding pillow. - I have the jolly jumper boomerang, the key being the boomerang shape and the thickness is good for us ladies with long torso’s (go for a thinner one if you’ve got a shorter torso). Lovelovelove it. So many uses: dinner table, desk, baby sitter. Another nice and thick one is the nook niche, but it is slightly more expensive.

2. Swaddle. - This actually might even be our number one thing, we used them so much we wore through the velcro on several of them. Have a couple extra incase they shit or puke on one (and they will), you have a backup. And swaddle them super tight. Babies are houdini’s, they will wiggle themselves out of it so we would swaddle Jack ridiculously tight. Sometimes even double swaddle. My fav brand is Summer/SwaddleMe with velcro. 

3. Bouncy chair. - Almost every baby loves the rocking motion of the bouncy chair, Jack would even sleep in his for most of his naps before we started sleep training him. We borrowed ours from a friend and ended up with two, one that lays flatter and one that sits up higher. If I was to buy one I would go for a Baby Bjorn, it has adjustable settings for sitting up high and lying flat. They are a bit pricey but are worth it.

4. Snacks. - Must have for breastfeeding and especially during the night. Preferably hand-held. Muffins and cookies are great because you use a lot of calories breast-feeding. I made several batches of fibery morning glory muffins and froze them and Cord would heat them up for me when I was nursing. Also have a water bottle by your nursing station or several, as soon as baby latches it sucks plasma from your blood into your bewbies and your mouth instantly gets parched.

5. Nursing bra/tanks - I lived in these for the first couple of weeks. Post-partum body is so lumpy and swollen and you sweat and get milk and barf all over you, it’s nice to be in something comfy and easy access for nursing. I got a bunch from thyme, motherhood, and from walmart. A cozy housecoat is also nice.

6. Nipple cream - I liked the Medela Tender Care, the Lanisnoh is thicker which can be nice sometimes (both are lanolin based). I would also put coconut oil on before every single feed and the Medela cream on post. I was deathly afraid of cracked and bleeding nips.

Pourquoi?

I started this side blog while I was pregnant and I don't really know why. You do some odd things while contemplating the responsibility of bringing a living thing into this rapidly declining environment. And the few posts I did write were slightly off topic for my faux food blog. After having Jack just thinking of the word "mommy-blog" made me throw up in my mouth a little bit, so it's taken me a while to come to terms with this thing that I don't really need to do but still seem to like doing anyways.

Consider yourself warned.

There is enough of the crystal-gripping, gypsy bead-wearing, orgasmic birthing crowd on the internet already, I promise I won't add myself to that column. Currently keeping one child alive doesn't make me an expert, or anything even close. If anything, becoming a mother has humbled me and enlightened me with the knowledge that I know a whole lot less than I thought I did.

and so it begins...

I figured it was time to start mommy-blogging after I ate a half-eaten soggy piece of toast off the floor. Apologies in advance.